Danny

Apr. 16th, 2016 11:12 pm
just_hex: (Default)
[personal profile] just_hex
Hex was bored and restless, but it seemed any time he went out- to the market to buy food or to a shop for a new book or game- he was increasingly anxious. And it didn't help that on one of his triips to the shops he'd picked up a couple bottles of vodka that he had hidden in his room. He tried to be sensible, drinking when Danny was out only. But some mornings he got up and had a deep swallow before going to brush his teeth.

He'd set out this morning for his therapy appointment but at the corner near the train stop a car backfired and he was instantly awash in cold sweat. His heart hammered in his chest. So he turned round and went home, calling the therapist on the way to cancel. And when he got home he locked up every single lock, armed the alarm system, and then he popped his pain pills. They began to work and he went to the garden, thinking he'd like a cup of coffee. Instead, there were Danny's cigarettes.

Hex had quit in the army when he'd replaced all his vices with physicality and had embraced his sexuality. But sometimes, high stress times, he wanted a fag. And so he pinched one and lit up.

Date: 2016-04-17 06:26 am (UTC)
london_spy: (jumper)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"Mind yourself," Danny said softly, watching him from the doorway. "Some of them have more than tobacco in them. Pull from the front, not the back, yeah?"

He wasn't going to scold Hex for lighting up, not when he was constantly puffing away, but he knew Hex couldn't risk getting high.

"Thought you were seeing someone today. ...Or was that tomorrow?"

Date: 2016-04-17 06:52 am (UTC)
london_spy: (glance)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"Oh, Hex. ...Look, next time I'll go with you, alright?" Danny offered softly.

Date: 2016-04-17 07:15 am (UTC)
london_spy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] london_spy

"There's no shame in needing support or help, Hex," Danny said gently, giving Hex's shoulder a squeeze.

Date: 2016-04-17 06:00 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"Sometimes things happen that change us, that's all. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst," Danny said gently.

Date: 2016-04-17 07:39 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] london_spy

"All the more reason to let people help you, Hex. ...You'll get better, I know it, but until you do, it's okay to need help," Danny said gently.

Date: 2016-04-17 08:53 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (jumper)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"Bugger that, going to bed mid-day is like giving up on life, Hex. You're alive. You're healing, you're... Healthy," Danny added quietly.

Date: 2016-04-17 10:58 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (jumper)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"I get that. Hex... Really, I get it," Danny assured him.

Danny had found his lover's dead body, had been framed for murder, infected, and very nearly killed in his own flat. He understood trauma.

"I'm just telling you that it gets easier. You find ways to cope."

Date: 2016-04-18 01:08 am (UTC)
london_spy: (glance)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
Danny only nodded, finishing the cigarette and frowning to himself, wishing there was some simple cure for Hex's troubles.

Eventually he joined him inside, watching the other man from the doorway.

Date: 2016-04-18 01:42 am (UTC)
london_spy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
It was hard to watch, but Danny had no idea what he could do. He was hardly a pillar of mental stability himself really, and all the advice he had, he'd already given.

So for now he changed the topic, wondering if he could coax the man out of his slump by talking about things he was passionate about.

"They're starting me on a new trial," he said, breaking the silence. "Some new wonder drug. Ought to be interesting."

Date: 2016-04-18 01:00 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (yellow)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
Danny very deliberately didn't react to Hex's jump, wanting to keep this all as normal and calm as possible. He didn't think fussing would do the other man much good.

"That's not a bad idea. I'd been thinking the same," he admitted. "I don't think there's any harm in being extra cautious."

Date: 2016-04-18 11:59 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (outside)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"Don't feel like I've done anything, but you're welcome," Danny said softly, slipping his arms around Hex in return.

Date: 2016-04-19 01:10 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (uneasy)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
Danny wasn't sure he made anything better. Bad luck seemed to follow him wherever he went, infecting his life and lives of those around him.

"I love you too," was all he said in return. "But please, Hex. Don't fall apart on me. Please. I can't lose anyone else, I just can't, alright? So promise me you'll let me help you get through this. That you'll go to your appointments, that you'll take care of yourself. ...I need that. I need you."

Date: 2016-04-20 10:13 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (sunlight)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"Good," he said softly, touching Hex's cheek. "I'll hold you to that," he added with a faint smile.

Date: 2016-04-21 02:58 am (UTC)
london_spy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] london_spy

"Oh, well, I'll not keep you from it," Danny teased, smiling at the kiss, then moving to the counter to get his mug.

Date: 2016-04-21 03:08 am (UTC)
london_spy: (sit)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"Back on the dole," Danny shrugged. "Might manage to land an odd job here and there. I'll get by... I always do, one way or another."

Date: 2016-04-21 03:24 am (UTC)
london_spy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"Right now, Hex, the only person you need to take care of is you, alright? I'm a grown man, I can look after myself," Danny replied, sounding a touch defensive.

Date: 2016-04-21 05:21 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (not impressed)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"I said I'm going back on the dole," Danny snapped, getting defensive and turning away to head off to his bedroom.

Date: 2016-04-22 07:31 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (wide eyed)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"No? I shouldn't be upset that the moment I fall on hard times you assume I'll resort to whoring myself out, just because I did it once before? ...Even if I was going to. Sometimes people do what they have to. Who are you to judge?" Danny asked.

Date: 2016-04-23 11:35 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (wide eyed)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"It's just money Hex," Danny replied. "You don't get it. I'm not saying I like it, I don't, but- I'll do whatever it takes to keep going. I'm not eager, and I'll try everything I can to avoid it, but if I have to, I will. We're not all lucky like you. We don't all have youtube and a good job to keep us going."

Date: 2016-04-24 12:58 am (UTC)
london_spy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
"Thanks," Danny said softly, nodding a bit, but still looking a bit tense and uneasy.

Date: 2016-04-24 01:30 am (UTC)
london_spy: (danny)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
It wasn't fair. He was upset still, but Hex had a way of making him feel... Guilty, almost. It made it so he couldn't pull away.

It made him feel trapped.

Danny was still so wounded and messed up inside, and Hex- Hex never seemed to give him space to explore how he felt. It sometimes felt like if he didn't give Hex everything he emotionally needed, the other man would just fall apart- And it would all be his fault. Especially now.

"I love you too," Danny said quietly.

Date: 2016-04-24 01:14 pm (UTC)
london_spy: (jumper)
From: [personal profile] london_spy
Danny nodded, watching Hex go, then exhaling a soft sigh as he flopped onto his bed, rolling over to click on the small radio on his night stand.

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