"Not ashamed. I just know that it's not what most people think of as...as healthy. People misunderstand and I'm not comfortable explaining. So I just keep it quiet," he replied, looking to his ankle where he picked at the cuff of his trousers.

"It was uncomfortable for me to even talk to you about it. About the discipline and control I like and not the pain. I'm not much of a sadist, but people think that's all part of the package, yeah?"