Fin

[just_hex]

It was Christmas-time and Hex was so happy. He'd baked and taken the sweets to work to share, he'd put up lights and decorations and he'd bought new ornaments for the tree he and Danny were going to trim. This evening he was out shopping. The sun was just beginning to go down, still early in the day, really, and there was a distinct nip in the air. He had been to Harrod's and he'd been to a few other shops. He had several bags hanging in his gloved hand as he stopped to admire a toy disply, thinking he should get something for his mate Mark's children.

And then he spotted Fin and those thoughts vanished into thin air. He wondered if maybe Fin's magic was weak and his vision useless and the man would pass on by. Hex still didn't know how to make amends and though he'd been working on just that sort of thing in his meetings, Fin was by far the worst of his transgretions and he was at a loss for how to express his deep regret.

First, he thought to himself, you could not be a wanker. You could say something to him and get his attention. Then let him take you as he will. That's his right. Wank.

And so he took a breath.

"-Lo, Fin," he said to the man coming toward him.

Comments

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin's vision wasn't bad today, he simply hadn't been paying much attention- So he was a touch startled when he heard Hex's voice. ...In fact, he froze slightly, still and unsure before finally relaxing.

"Hex," he greeted quietly, cloudy eyes fixed on the other man.

[just_hex]

Hex swallowed hard and nodded, accepting this first step. Now he just needed to find his backbone.

"Happy Christmas," he said, moving to block other pedestrians from walking into Fin.

[prince_of_nymphs]

"Happy Christmas," he said, his throat going slightly dry and a small well of panic building up inside him that he couldn't seem to control.

"How- How are you?" he asked, his body language betraying his fear as his gaze flickered to the floor and his shoulders hunched slightly.

[just_hex]

"Good. Sober," he replied. And then he figured he might as well be utterly and completely honest. "A bit ill because of me meds, but I'm doing alright. How are you? You look...good."

He looked beautiful, honestly, and the love he felt for Fin was still there, welling up in him.

[prince_of_nymphs]

"Fine, I'm- Fine," Fin replied awkwardly, wrapping his arms around himself without even really noticing he was doing so.

"I've got some theatre work coming up shorty, and Faizel's been teaching me about glamours and the like, potions I can use to make my eyes appear normal. My new management team thinks I'm seeing a specialist on the fifteenth, but really I'm just, um, I'm going to try a potion out. If it works, it wont fix my vision, I'll still have to depend on my magic for that, but- It could get me back on screen."

[just_hex]

"That's brilliant," he replied, a soft smile warming his voice but it didn't have his usual bright enthusiasm. His smile faded as he watched Fin wrap himself up. Body language said so much and Hex was quite good at reading people, a skill he used to his advantage at the bedside of patients.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked. "I'm just shopping. I can walk on..." he offered. Paused. "...Or I'd buy you a cuppa and we could...talk."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin was silent for a moment, then shrugged one shoulder.

"I suppose a cuppa would be nice. ...I should really head home and let Keats out for a bit though. He's got a bit of a cold at the moment, poor thing," Fin explained, hesitating a beat, then looking at Hex. "You could come, if you like. I'm, um, living in Winter and Phouka's old flat."

[just_hex]

Hex wet his lips, tempting fate and risking them getting chapped. He nodded.

"I'd like that," he said. "I moved, too. Lot to catch up on, I think."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"Come on then," he said softly, looking unsure, then patting Hex's arm.

[just_hex]

Hex started off with Fin to flag down a taxi. He was unusally quiet, unable to think of much to chat about. Normally small talk came so easily but he didn't want to make small talk. He needed to really communicate with Fin and he had no idea how to begin.

[prince_of_nymphs]

When a cab slowed to a stop, Fin didn't hesitate to clime in. It was so familiar this, a cab home with Hex, sitting close- Usually smiling and touching- So it was strange to sit so far apart now, the space between them small, yet somehow vast.

[just_hex]

Hex felt it too, this chasm between them. Guilt plagued him and kept him mum until they hit their first stop light.

"I appreciate this chance," he said softly.

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin nodded, hesitating and then moving closer. Not as close as he'd once been, but close enough that it almost felt normal again.

[just_hex]

Hex tentatively reached out and just the tips of his fingers grazed the back of Fin's hand.

"It means a lot. A chance. In recovery it's important to realize when you want to make amends that some people you've hurt won't want it. Won't...don't want it."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin looked down at their hands, listening, and then blurting something out.

"I miss you. I miss being with you," he said, pulling his hand away the moment the words came out. "And I hate that about myself."

[just_hex]

"I miss you, too," he confessed. "I miss everything about you. I miss me best mate. I miss feeling good. I always felt good around you."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin closed his eyes, then slowly leaned into Hex. For a moment, just a moment, he put it all behind him, letting himself be close to his friend.

[just_hex]

Hex breathed out, a sigh of contentment for just that moment. For just that moment he, too, could put it all behind them. He leaned in against Fin in return.

[prince_of_nymphs]

He sighed, his cheek against Hex's shoulder, then closed his eyes, not thinking at all as he wrapped one arm around the other man.

[just_hex]

Hex held him, breathing in the scent of him. It was familiar and comforting and Hex ached to make things right.

He held Fin in silence until they pulled up at the building where the man's flat was.

"We're here," he said. "Let me pay and we'll get the tea and talk."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Sliding out the car, Fin waited for Hex to pay before leading the way up to his flat.

Outside in the hall, he looked to Will's door as he always did, a part of him always wanting to be near the other fae. To curl up close against him and simply let the rest of the world fade away. He snapped out of it though, letting Hex into his flat and headed right for the kitchen.

[just_hex]

Following after, Hex shed his jacket once he'd put down his bags. This felt so right and good, being here with Fin. Almost as if he hadn't cocked everything up.

But he had and there was no denying that. So he made his way into the kitchen as Fin put the kettle on.

"Fin, I hardly know where to begin," he admitted.

[prince_of_nymphs]

"We've already talked about this once, Hex. ...I don't want to fight anymore. I just don't," Fin admitted quietly. "I got my anger out that day I decked you on the street."

[just_hex]

"I know. I know. But that was...I was sorry, but it was selfish. I wanted you to forgive me and forget it. But now I've had time to really reflect. Really think it through. And I'm still sorry, but it's more than that. I really, truly regret ever wishing you'd be mine. It was weak and selfish, and...and I've never been more wrong in my life. And now I won't ask you to forgive me. I'll simply tell you I'd undo it if I could. If I could I'd take it back. If I was a better man I'd have never done it to begin with," he said. Once he started talking all the words just tumbled out, one on top of another, and Hex forced himself to look Fin in the face rather than hang his head in shame.

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin watched him for a long moment, then stepped closer as he pushed up onto his toes and pressed a kiss to Hex's forehead.

"Okay," he said softly.