"Every month it's a risk. Last month I was in bed with you too much to run into anyone. And some months I don't get arrested, but Tom told me this time I tied him to the bollard with me athletic tape after he went limp, so the police had time to arrive," he explained.

"And the bird was begging for help. What am I supposed to say? No?"

From his pocket he produced a napkin with one more piece of chicken.