Spencer

[just_hex]

They'd set another date and Hex was excited. Maybe more excited than he had any right to be. Spencer was a puzzle, to be sure, but Hex felt he was worth working out. He'd done a bit of reading up on Autism and he found some things fit and some didn't so he was left unsure. He reasoned that was a good indication he should stay in nursing and to leave the diagnoses to the doctors.

Spencer was due any minute and Hex had sprang for pizza and some Cokes. He'd set out plates and such and then settled on the sofa to catch up on the sports scores while he waited for Spencer to come round. If only he could stop checking his watch.

Comments

[dr_spencer_reid]

"There were several glaring discrepancies, and a few plot points that appear to have been cut in favour of focusing on the main plot and romantic sub plot- But overall it was fairly enjoyable," Spencer replied. "I prefer the book though, I think. I'll lend it to you if you think you'd like to read it," he added.

[just_hex]

"I don't read that often, but if you'd lend it to me...I'd read it for you," Hex said softly.

[dr_spencer_reid]

"You don't have to read it for me, you're not obligated. You should read it because you think you'll enjoy it. ...Because there's a possibility it'll take you somewhere," Spencer replied, sounding thoughtful.

[just_hex]

Hex wasn't sure it would take him anywhere now that he'd seen the movie, but he was willing to try.

"I think I'd like to give it a go," he said. "If you bring it to me, I'll read it."

[dr_spencer_reid]

Spencer smiled at that, his hair falling slightly in his face as he settled in again.

"Somewhere past stardust lined asteroid belts, and the ships and settlements of man, there is a city that never sleeps, on a planet just like our own. A planet contoured by science and ravished by man," he said, quoting the opening line of the book and then tilting his head to look at Hex as he smiled again.

"I'll bring it over," he promised.

[just_hex]

"That's beautiful, Spencer," Hex said softly. "I bet you know...well, everything, don't you? Everything you've read?"

[dr_spencer_reid]

"I do. It's rare I forget anything," Spencer admitted. "It unsettles some people- Does it bother you?" he asked.

[just_hex]

"No. Or...not yet? I can't see that it would, though. I think it's remarkable," he said. "I can't say I've ever met anyone like you. I've known some brilliant people...really smart...but most of them I couldn't even relate to. You're not like that."

[dr_spencer_reid]

Spencer smiled at that. No one had ever said they could relate to him before. Never. Not even once.

"Intelligence shouldn't be a factor in how well people get along- so it's a shame how often it becomes a barrier. I've read studies about how children with high IQ's have a harder time socializing- Not just with their peers, but with older children as well. I can recite all the data, but- I never understood it. I mean, I understand it, but- I don't see why it has to be true. The way people are, the way we work, the way we grow and connect... It's all so foreign to me. It's the one thing I can't seem to teach myself."

[just_hex]

"That's because it's innate. I don't think you can learn it. Not actively. You do it or you don't. And if you don't then you can practice at it, but it feels off, if you take me meaning," Hex said. His arm tightened slightly around Spencer then. "I think we connect. You and I. I feel like we get on, yeah?"

[dr_spencer_reid]

Spencer tensed, then relaxed into the hold, finding that he liked the firmer embrace. Hex held on tighter, and there was suddenly a weight to the contact. Too light and it tickled- too hard and it hurt- but this was right. Hex held him exactly right.

"I- I think so too," he said softly.

[just_hex]

"I'm really glad I met you, Spencer," Hex said softly. "I think about you a lot. I like the idea of seeing you more often, too. Seeing you every week. I can't tell you how happy that makes me."

[dr_spencer_reid]

Spencer smiled at that, settling in and wishing he could call home. That he could call Hotch, or Morgan- Maybe JJ or Garcia, and tell them about this person he'd found. This man who could be a boyfriend maybe. Eventually.

"I'm glad I met you too," he smiled, reluctantly pulling away. "Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" he asked.

[just_hex]

"No, not at all. It's just there. I'll clean up the pizza while you do," he said and once they were on their feet he went to deal with the food while Spencer took care of himself.

[dr_spencer_reid]

Spencer wandered off, using the bathroom and then spotting the bookshelf in the man's bedroom. Smiling, he thought nothing of walking right in, skimming the titles. Some he knew, some he didn't, then he noticed a magazine tucked in between two of the books.

The title on the spine wasn't one he knew- But when he pulled it out, it became clear it was porn.

Spencer had seen this sort of thing before- But only on the monitors of the computers of unsubs and monsters. He'd never seen it on the shelves of someone he saw as a friend. It made his heart pound, and he exhaled with a shudder.

"Oh my god."

[just_hex]

Hex put the pizza away and the cola, too, then wandered back to sit down. He saw the door to the toilet was open and he walked over to see if Spencer was alright. For a moment he entertained the idea the man may have gone to the bedroom and undressed...but then he realized that was ridiculous.

What he didn't expect to find was the other man with a magazine in hand and that look on his face.

"Oh my god," he said softly. "Spencer...I...please don't look at me like that."

The blush started at his neck and burned his cheeks. He didn't even know how to explain.

[dr_spencer_reid]

Spencer glanced at Hex, then awkwardly tried to put the magazine back.

"It's fine, I'm sorry, I- Didn't mean to- I just saw your books, and I... I'm sorry. I'm really... I'm... I'm not judging. An interest in bondage and sadism doesn't define a person. Not if it's safe and consensual- And, um, I'm sure you... I..."

He stumbled over his words, stomach fluttering as he tried very hard not to profile the man.

[just_hex]

"It's only ever consensual," he asserted. "And it's not all the time. Just...sometimes. More fantasy than, erm, real. There's a club, but...oh, god. I don't expect that, yeah? I don't expect anything. Not from you," he stammered, stepping closer. Close enough to touch. He didn't though, terrified Spencer would think he was a right pervert.

[dr_spencer_reid]

Spencer took a small step back, though he did his best not to seem threatened by the other man.

"But it's- It's something you do. It's something you enjoy? Which- Which, um- which role do you prefer to take?" he asked, uncomfortable, but still curious.

[just_hex]

Hex took a deep breath and tried to will the blush that stained his cheeks away.

"I like control. I like discipline more than pain," he said. "I like to have the upper hand. Most of the people I've been with are masochists and enjoy being hurt, so I do that, but what I like is...not that. I don't know if that makes sense."

[dr_spencer_reid]

"You have power fantasies," Spencer replied, observing Hex for a moment, then relaxing slightly. "You don't enjoy inflicting pain?"

[just_hex]

"No, not really. I like making people feel good and for some people that means getting a bit rough, but that's not what excites me," he said. His face felt like it was on fire he was so embarrassed, though the fact that Spencer was so calm and reasonable helped quite a bit.

"Do you...well, I know you're not experienced, but do you have fantasies? Something you'd like to try?" he asked.

[dr_spencer_reid]

"I- I've never really thought about it," Spencer admitted. "But- I don't know if I could ever do that. Submit, I mean. The only times I've been tied up- Well, they're not happy memories. Even before the FBI... Being tied up has never ended well for me."

[just_hex]

"Then I'll never do that to you. And I'll never ask it of you. And it will never happen," Hex promised him gently. "I'll never do anything you don't like and if you ever say stop...I'll stop. I'll stop, Spencer, then and there."

[dr_spencer_reid]

Spencer nodded, quietly thanking him- But it bothered him. Not what Hex did, but the fact that he couldn't do it with him. That he was so damaged that he was unable to explore his sexuality in that way.

He looked at the magazine again, then swallowed hard.

"I'm getting tired. Maybe we should call it a night,"