just_hex | Spencer

Spencer

Hex's attitude had brightened over the past weeks to the point that even the people at the hospital had noticed. No one gave him a hard time when he announced he had a boyfriend, but Caro did wink and nod and made him blush.

This week he'd lucked out and had actually gotten the weekend off...every dog had its day...and he'd made plans with Spencer. Hex had cooked, nothing terribly fancy, just some chicked and some oven baked chips, and he'd set up a new documentary in his queue. He really was itching to go out but he and Spencer had never really discussed...well, he doubted very much he'd get Spencer out to the Hoist and he wasn't too keen on going to a bar.

He met Spencer at the door with a smile, the rich scent of dinner filling his flat. The first impulse was to kiss him but Hex was always very careful, very purposeful when he touched Spencer. The last thing he wanted was to startle him.

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Slow was not bad. Slow was not stop. Slow was something Hex could agree to.

"Alright. We'll go slowly," he promised. "We'll keep on as we've been and if anything changes we'll talk about it first, yeah?"

Spencer relaxed, and nodded.

"That sounds good," he said, smiling softly.

"I'd really like to kiss you now," he said softly. Then Hex reached out to take hold of him, his hands firm but careful. Hex kissed him, sweet and slow.

"I like that we're mates," he said. "I think that's good."

Spencer sighed softly into the kiss, then smiled. "I'm really glad I met you Hex."

"Yeah, I'm glad, too."

He pulled away and smiled at Spencer, his eyes darkened with affection and desire.

"DO you want to rewind this show? We've missed a bit..."

"No," Spencer smiled. "I'm enjoying talking to you. ...And the kissing. That's nice too."

"I like talking, too. I want to know everything about you, Spencer. Everything you like. I want to know about your job, and what you read, and what it was like when you were a boy. I want to know everything."

Part of him felt that it was horribly unfair of him to hope to know Spencer completely because he had such a huge secret. He could never tell anyone about the Doctor. Spencer was so reasonable- he'd probably think Hex was mental.

" I want to know everything about you as well," Spencer replied. "But, um, I feel like there are a few things you deserve to know about me. ...And my family," he confessed, his smile fading.

Hex's brows drew down in concern. "Oh? What is it, Spencer?" he asked, twisting so he could face the man, his hand resting lightly on Spencer's thigh.

"I feel like you should know that my mother is, um... She's not well. She's living in a mental health facility in Las Vegas. ...She's been there since I was eighteen. ...Since I had her committed," he confessed quietly.

"Oh? Oh. Oh..." he said, so utterly stunned he didn't know what else to say for the time being. It did answer why Spencer didn't mention his family often. At all, really. Now that Hex thought of it he could hardly recall Spencer mentioning his mum.

"And your dad?" he asked. "Where was he through that?"

"Gone. He left when I was really young," Spencer shrugged. "I haven't seen or heard from him since then. He sent cards for a while, on my birthdays. ...He hasn't in a while though."

He nodded at that sympathetically. "Me mum left me with me nan like that. Just left when I was one. Never heard from her at all," he said. Hex paused considering the wisdom of his curiosity. He decided he really wanted to know.

"What's her diagnosis, then? That she's been committed for so long?"

"She's fine as long as she stays on her meds, but- She's schizophrenic," he said, looking away.

"Oh, that's rather serious," Hex said with calm concern. It was quite the understatement and he knew it. Schizophrenia could be a terribly devastating diagnosis and if she needed to be hospitalized to insure she took her medication that was...that was serious indeed.

"It's good she's got you to take care of her like that, Spencer. Even if that care is from a distance. Was she afflicted your whole life or did it come up as you got older? No, wait, you don't have to tell me that if you don't want to..."

"She was always unwell, but- she got worse each year. In the end, I knew I couldn't look after her if I wanted a life of my own," Spencer confessed, his guilt apparent.

"That's true, Spencer. That's absolutely true. Say, now...chin up. You've done right by her. She's cared for and secure. That's good. It's not as if you turned your back on her and lit off for parts unknown," Hex said, leaning in closer and touching Spencer's arm.

"You did right, yeah? And you love her- that's obvious. If you didn't then this wouldn't weigh on you."

Spencer nodded, but his silence lingered for a moment.

"You said your mother left. ...Do you know where she went?"

"No. Not a clue. One day she just took me to me nan and went," he replied. "And me dad...they weren't married or anything and he worked at the docks. But he died when I was young. The work was so hard. That just left me and me nan...until I left when I finished school and joined the army."

"That must have been awful, Hex," Spencer said softly. "Though you seem very well adjusted despite that. It speaks highly for your mental stability."

He chuckled softly at that and slowly shook his head.

"The service helped a lot. I was...not a good lad. I was in quite a bit of trouble when I was young, actually. But I grew up and changed things for meself. Now I try me best to be a good man. A decent human being."

"You harbour a bit of a power complex though, that's why you indulge in power play fantasies. It's likely due to your feeling of having a lack of control in your life when you were younger," Spencer explained.

"Do you think that's why? Probably so," he said, embarrassed a but by how matter-of-fact Spencer was about it. He didn't feel ashamed of his proclivities but he wasn't exactly comfortable with being entirely open about it, either.

"It's not uncommon," Spencer offered, aware that Hex was uncomfortable. "There's nothing wrong with it. ...I don't disapprove, if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh, no...it's not that. I just...I don't really talk about it, yeah? I know it's odd," he replied quietly.

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